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Hi, my name is J & Ally
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Story 

And this Begins the Beginning [0/?]

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By Agent_Digital_Lemon Send DollMail
Created: 2013-09-07 20:20:17 All stories by Agent_Digital_Lemon
Once upon a time, way way way back when, a little 9 year old me wrote a story called "♥ ♥ A promise to not be kept ♥ ♥". It wasn't great- actually, it's wasn't even good. At all. But I remember writing it, and being really proud. I also remember getting the acronym for the organization wrong. A while later, for other reasons, I lost my love for writing. I have, gratefully, regained that passion again- and also a passion for commas. So. Many. Commas. - so as a homage to my younger, semi-ok writing self, I am going to rewrite this story. (Here's the link to the only chapter ; http://tinyurl.com/ithinkitwassupposedtobeTHO)

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"Ally?"

"Ally?"

"Allllllllll lyyyyyyyy? Are you even listening to me?!"

"What. Duh. Of course. Yea, I totally was. Music, right?"

"No." click. J just hung up, quick like a child to pout. I let out a groan and slammed my head on the table. I was so confident it was music, It was always music with J. I could write a million page book on J's love for music, and her hatred for others. If you didn't like the bands she liked, or if you liked music she didn't, you became her mortal enemy, sworn into eternal battle where only really J cared to fight.

I know I should have been listening, but I'm can't stop reading this book, and it NEEDS my full attention. I can see J whenever, but I have to enjoy this book now. What if something happens? What it my house burns down, or, or, a random dog comes out of no where- like through the wall or something!- and just tears my book to shreds. I bought this book with my own money, and I just can't let anything happen to it. I'd be heartbroken.

I just got this book yesterday, and the only reason I got it was the cover, but let me tell you, it was the. Best. Decision. Ever. It isn't really the characters, or those cute supernaturals, but the whole universe itself. Who wouldn't want to live in a world with vampires and werewolves and ghosts and witches and even Death himself? It's seems so exciting, so dangerous, so interesting! I can tell you, it's much better than living in some shack going through the same stuff everyday.

Life here is so boring, so repetitive, so simple! I wish I lived in this book, not out here. There, I'd probably be rich and funny and pretty. Here I live neck deep in the woods, in some box they call a trailer. I never talk and all I wear is a hoodie and some jeans. I have one pair of shoes, not because I can't afford more, but because I don't really want to wear anything else.

I dream of being in the worlds in these books, where I'm the heroine, or the sidekick if I'm feeling humble, where I'm so awesome that I get the mysterious supernatural hotties or am someone chosen for something greater.

J doesn't understand. She doesn't get why I'm so caught up in my own world. She's so quick to express herself, through words or clothes or drawings. She's really lucky, J. One time, she got her hair dyed all these colors, these blues and pinks and yellows, because, according to her, she "just wanted to". Everyone loved it, people didn't see hair like that here, and she always had people around her, like her hair was just some neon sign beckoning everyone to her. To be honest I was jealous, I wanted people to talk to me. I wanted people to like my pictures and see just how cool I can be, so I had mine dyed too. When it was first dyed, it was a bright magenta. It was so pretty, I loved it; more than anything, though, I wanted everyone else to love it too.

I guess everyone thought I was following some trend, because no one payed nearly as much attention to me. I was show ready to show J my hair, though, but when she came to school that day it was back to it's original dark black. I was so confused, why would she just take away something so valuable? When I asked her about it she just said "I just wanted to. It.. got boring..". She said it sadly, like her parents made her change it back. She never even mentioned my hair. It was like she didn't even notice it. I was so furious.She obviously dyed her hair for attention, couldn't she see that's why I dyed mine? She didn't even give me the time of day.Even when I complained, she said nothing. I couldn't understand why she was being so selfish. What about me, you know?

Now my hair has faded, no longer a bright magenta, but more a dirty lavender. People keep saying I need to dye it again, or dye it something else, but I refuse. I don't know why. Maybe it's just some testament to my spirit. Maybe I'm just waiting for J to say something, anything, about it.

She never realizes how lucky she is.

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Okay so here it is, pretty bad and a first draft. I don't have a clear idea of where this is going to go, or if it is. I'll continue it if I want. Don't be afraid to critique my writing, I know it needs work. I'm no professional, heck, I'm only 15! But anyway, I know this is pretty different from the original story, but it flows better, and I hope that overall it is better. Comment, please

P.S If something is wrong, or seems contradicting, tell me. I'll fix it. I didn't read over this like I'm suppose to.
  

Member Comments  
TryMe

22/Male
United Kingdom
All My Stories
Posted On: October 7, 2013
Firstly nothing is contradicting. And you did manage to hold my attention throughout, which on some days is quite difficult for anybody to do, so it can't be that bad.

Luv Des (Who for some undefinable reason has returned to the dead wilderness of TDP)
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